Burly man-sized 7.5 by 10.5 inches
We thought the Whitey Issue or the Minty Fresh Pirate Issue could not be bested but in 2002 they were. But how does one possibly top the Ultimate Issue?
We were unsure but we were hoping with the help of one Anti-Laureate, a Poet Laureate, and a bunch of masculine energy we might be able to figure it out.
Because all journals should cantankerously define themselves, we will hereby dedicate this issue as the UNFINISHED MALE AUTHOR INTERVIEW ISSUE or in more familiar terms: THE MAN PO.
Besides what did we have to lose, tenure?
Is this another masculine concept with deep critical implications?
An Excerpt of the Editor's Note from The Greatest Literary Journal in the World
Unlike most of our recent issues which have had some form of an introduction holding the issue together, here we cannot begin to form any sort of cogency. For the past number of months we have been sitting around, mail has arrived, the economy has gone into a slump, thefts were committed, the mail load further increased due to aforementioned societal downturn, there was an increase in poems which violated the interns, the rejections turned nasty, and of all of this the most unfortunate occurrence was that no nameable theme surfaced. And how could we surpass the magnificence of our previous journal? With a name like the Ultimate Issue we were doomed. Our sleeping schedules changed, there were full brown outs during direct sunlight, we were getting depressed & tried everything-getting jobs, swimming in mall fountains, fung shui, listening to Devo, taking each other's medication. Even when our primary college, as reported recently in the New York Times, voted to use the term "evolution" rather than "changes over time" in science courses, a real advancement for our city, for which we salute the brave and avant guard decision of Ohio State University, it did not temper our folly.
The post-Ultimate depression was upon us. In another attempt to lift our spirits, I created a subscription form for the Ultimate Issue (#7) worded in an ambiguous way. As a result, I have netted and kept signed confessions from over 80 writers admitting they are Poor Poets. Some of these writers have always stunk. These gave us many brief tee-hees, but our only hope is that by fully admitting our worthiness for inclusion into the Cannon we will further display our center of attention deficit disorder and extricate ourselves from moroseness.
As the morose host, I have congealed a finery of chicanery for the issue.
[ this area shows how to write negative reviews, supplies examples & encourages the process, some samples below]
"The next time a mood strikes to read Italian Sonnets by a Turkish refugee, this is a must read!"
"The spirit of overcoming others can hardly be overlooked in the poem 'Trousers.'"
We hope you will find solace and inspiration to write negative
reviews; all we ask for is a copy of the published essay.
Another scandal, brought to my attention, and into my home, this summer by an east coast poet, which shows as nearly as lame an area in need of serious poetic attention, are exercises in poem writing manuals distributed to creative writing classes. Normally I am far removed from viewing such suspect devices, but recently a skid of mostly unopened textbooks containing the offending material was hidden at my house for a few days by a well known MFA program-teaching poet [read journal to reveal identity]working on doubling his income.
We propose including other inventive techniques in these writing guides so we can continue to have a staff, and to stop the proliferation of this infectious nonsense. I call these exercises Poetry Infliction Inhibitors.
[various exercises originally here, the one below is my favorite--DB]
4.) Write a poem based on fear. Wear a dark sweatshirt with a hood large enough to cover your entire face when worn. This is called a "hoody."
Wear it with ground dragging jeans and expensive sneakers. Walk around neighborhoods such as Mount Vernon and 20th in Columbus. For more daring poems try walking the South Bronx nowhere near the Throgs Neck Bridge or Diamond and 34th in Philly. Record your experience in line breaks that reflect the use of breath you experience. As a variant, call yourself Uncle Sammy and wear a star spangled hoody in Arabic countries.
Maybe, someday, if we meet, we can teach you the Secret Pavement Saw Handshake.
Until then, Be well
David Baratier, Editor, Pavement Saw Press
SAMPLE QUESTIONS FROM INTERVIEWS
DB: Looking at the shelf of books you wrote I am wondering: why did you write so many? Was it intentional? Vindictive?
DB: Why is the Ronald Mc Donald House a good place to meet women?
DB: What is a School of Continuation? Do you meet in secret locations on the lower mountain side? Can I join?
DB: In one of the earlier drafts of _Poet be like God: Jack Spicer and the San Francisco Renaissance_ not only is Jess Collins portrayed as the evil anti-poet, usually referred to in the text only by his first name like Satan or Osama or Prince, but surprisingly, you are also treated in a similar manner. Since I am about to be roasted by a book that is as yet unpublished, and you appeared as a wonderful two named entity in the published Wesleyan edition, do you have any advice or techniques to share?
DB: Back to religion and returning to the idea of a poem being pneumatic, rather than of breath, or to breathe in the way Olson suggested for the line, the poem works as a translocutor, and I would think pneumatolysis might be closer in kind. As if the poem is a doctrine, an intermediary of spirits between God and man, intended to inspire a movement from one condition to another. Care to comment?
THE MAN PO
Feature: All Male Author Unfinished Interview Tabloid
Peter O' Leary
John M. Bennett
With Arguments From
And Poems By
Guy R. Beining
M. E. Weems