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Pavement Saw #7, The Ultimate Issue home

Pavement Saw #7

!!!The Ultimate Issue!!!

 

Perfect Bound, 7.5 by 10.5
Shocking Orange Color cover.
88 pages
$7.00

  

A mild mannered reporter for WBUR in Boston, writing about birds and planes by day, by night he's --SuperSean Cole-- Our Feature.

!!!SUPERSEANCOLESUPERSAMPLE!!!


Variation on a Theme by Frank O'Hara.


Janet Reno has collapsed!
It was a gray day out our window
and you said it was Gray Davis but
he lives in California where it
never rains so it was really gray
and threatening to spray and my
desk was an onion I kept crying over
with you at my shoulder rushing me
for information but the Internet was jammed
and then suddenly this story from the AP
appeared on the screen
JANET RENO HAS COLLAPSED!
there is no "U" in "New York"
no bran in Massachusetts
I've had to sit on the floor at a lot of press conferences
but I've never actually fallen down
oh Janet we want you for governor of Florida get up

__________________________________________

--As found in--
Pavement Saw 7: THE ULTIMATE Pavement Saw

--BLAMMO-- a few key editiorial paragraphs

The Ultimate issue not only sounds extremely important, but it is also where we can historically return to our roots and retell our story in a way that updates it for a whole new generation of audiences. In this we can have the I character throw in objects, phrases and important people which will show our newness and locate us in the USA at a trapped moment

of what cannot be explained. Be clear and do not fear, faithful reader, Ultimate is here which does not mean the last issue, but rather the most

important, the bomb. For those of you who degrade us through logic, yes,

a thinly veiled problematic scattering of ideas splats here but keep in mind that is why Ultimate is capitalized, like Honor or Justice in the
1870's.

....UMMPH....

when we left off, we were making a metal plate to affix to the ground for free spray painted city wide advertising when the woman who knew how

to do this deed disappeared leaving us ineptly anchored for such permanence. The staff and I were experiencing withdrawal from an unspecified daily consumption of caffinated mints which included full blown audio/visual hallucinations and concluded with a Columbus visit from George Bush Jr. (see last ish-'nuf said-dashing Dave). Shortly after, there was a newfound profound interest in messing with the authors subjectivity all over again.

....URRRGHAH.....

Under a viking helmet, after raiding many fishing villages, Stephen Mainard appears from the appalachians, drunk, wearing a cod piece, and talking about it to interest the audience in staying for the major contents of this issue. To disrupt the silence, beyond the baudiness, he

has just finished making an AM radio wire kit which were made illegal by

the Federal Trade Commission shortly after they legitimized the only two

(right wing) radio stations under the recent policy. While finishing a six-pack he slurs, "Whosoarfart Nautilus Preappleguy?" sputters "Chipolteandnicknolte" drinks three shots then spouts the final show stopping slinger "Shitsandfritzandsitsabits" You locals, steeped in a righteous indoor Nordic track tradition, say "Doesn't that niggling
nerf-herder know eight is enough?"

While this poor pun would conclude the humeric content of most competing literary journals, we have more. As a strong member of a undervalued race with high tolerance distilled (& sold) for generations and a penchant for products that let air in (T-tops, tanktops, unscreened windows) Stephen returns- after being frozen and rendered ineffective by

the application of momentary politically correct ethical standards to the timeless ideals of poetry- he is now ready for scuba lessons to patriotically stop any Arab looking Americans from lighting illegal firework displays near waterways.

....KAPLOOEEY.....

Contributing his efforts for the war on terrorism, the editor has created a Dirty Poem which kills through the use of metonymic forms of radiation. Born in a city near a toxic superfund site, to a nuclear family which split, thereby creating a broken home which lead to a thermodynamic torching of morals, he is well qualified for this task. Baratier will be tailed by a Marine, as most American Indians who know codes during wartime are, and killed if he reveals his secret process.

___________________________________________________________
Art :

Byrne
Perez
Dunlap
Texiera

Script:

Abbott
Andrews
Arigo
Bergmann
Butscher
Casey
Daniels
D'Arpino
Heithaus
Keene
King
Lombardo
Lowery
Magee
Petkus
Quasha
Ragain
Raven
Sachs
Strange
Taksa
Welsch
Zimmerman